Ha! That is pretty funny.

At a mall. Shaven headed lunk and his girlfriend walking along with a huge pit-bull. She's on her cellphone, complaining about the dog

–It's ridiculous. Every time she gets a little bit hot or tired, he picks her up and carries her. So now she just lies down whenever she feels like it. [pause] I know!

She turns to her smirking lunk and shouts

–STOP PICKING HER UP!

About twenty minutes later I see them in the car park. The dog is lying on the ground, woman is still on the phone. As I walk past, lunk says

–Should I pick her up now?

Hah, you get to hear the greatest stuff in London it seems!

In the art supply store-

Staff member- Can I help you find some thing?

Girl- A will to live...

Staff member- I'm sorry we don't carry that. Any thing else?

Girl- (shrugs)How about an exacto knife.

Staff Member-.....right this way...

subtle...

supervisor to junior - do you have standards? do you have any standards at all?

Discussing the Virginia Tech shooting:

"Trained on Doom eh? Soooooo, he practiced his rocket jumps?"

Poor taste but I maintain that it was worthy of a chuckle. Not quite as good as the story about the guy telling the Warcraft community that his brother, a rabid player, died. Someone responded - "Did he drop any good loot"?

Blurring the lines of reality, as we speak.

Loot?
Y'arr!

Erm. Wrong thread.

quote:

Originally posted by fuldog:
"You can't claim to be sane if you live in this city... check, please."

hah!

On national tv news today. Some people of the belgian branch from the turkish revolutionary movement DHKP/C where released from belgian prisons today. They were convicted on charges of being part of a criminal organisation, illigal weapons possesion and terrorism; but they got off on a technicality. Now on to the quote:

reporter: "will you continue your actions now"

member: "of course, the revolutionary struggle never stops, and we will continue for all eternity if we have to"

reporter: "peacefully?"

member: "Well err (long silence) that's not up to us, we will use the means we see fit given the situation".


WHAT THE FUCK? That's just admitting you'll use violence as soon as you've found some twisted logic for it. Can somebody please throw these psychos back in jail?

What I find funny is that people who're willing to use violence seem unwilling to lie...

And it's always "not up to us." Always, "you made us do it." Just like that psycho at VT.

A girl in the barber shop looking at people magazine,"Damn! I shoulda beena plastic surgen!" I told her, "It's never too late."

Borders today:

Pretty business-suited chick: "I want cupcakes for my wedding cake."

Few weeks back, uni computer labs:

Girl 1: "I just wanna hump."

Girl 2: "But too bad you're on your period."

G1: "...yeah..."

G2: "I'm not."

Was going to pointedly pull out a calendar and write in extra-chunky fluoro green highlighter "NOTE: TODAY IS THE BRUNETTE CHICK IN COMPUTER ROOM IS ON THE RAG."

But I didn't have a calendar.

quote:

Pretty business-suited chick: "I want cupcakes for my wedding cake."

Lucky fucking groom.

quote:

Originally posted by Splitcoil:

quote:

Pretty business-suited chick: "I want cupcakes for my wedding cake."

Lucky fucking groom.

What's a wedding cake?

This morning:

"Martians hate poison ivy."

Not exactly audio and not exactly meat world... but I don't think we have an 'overheard online' thread. Besides, it's gratifyingly condimental... and silly:

"say u put all the new 07 1000cc bikes together on a track would there be a big margine between the bikes or would they be pretty similar with todays technology?"

"I guess you meant "margarine". Don't do it. For casual riding, they are best served with yoghurt or creamed cheese. Modern bikes have a delicate flavour so sauces should be kept to a minimium. Triumphs taste good drizzled with a little oil.

Track bikes can be deep fried, but only for a few moments. Overcooking will leave the tyres rubbery."

two deaf guys in the office

-you fed up cause you didn't get to play golf friday?
-hmm, what?
-what you do friday, you miss the golf?
-no i had the pleasure of painting the fence. was nice as i drove out in the car this morning to admire my handy work,
-what? why? you painted your car?
-no the fence.
-oh
-yeah, i paint it every ten years, whether it needs it or not.