thought it was overheard, turned out it was directed at me.

walking my girl home from school, a hoony car lurched past and the passenger roared out what i thought was "NINJAAAAH!!!"

my girl and i gave each other our 'teenagers' look and giggled.

then it clicked. not ninja, but ginger. i dyed my hair deep red last week.

had an even better laugh, then.

Overheard from a little girl in a rough neighbourhood bossing her little brother around in the garden:

"Ok, this is the house, right? And you go out and then you come back in again and I say 'Where the hell have you been to this time of night!' OK?"

.... LATER ....

"Hey, eat your f...ing soup or you'll get no f...ing pudding!"

"Olga kisses are always worthwhile."

safety officer enters room, well tanned.
welding inspector - where have you been?
safety officer - glasgow airport.

last night, shopping, heard an odd one.

mum, three kids under 7, trying to dissuade the youngest from hassling her to buy something (never will know what.)

"that's not for christians, it's for muslims"

On Tottenham Court Road, walking passed Spearmint Rhino:

10 year old girl, dressed like a 50 year old woman (10YOG): Mummy what's a Spearmint Rhino?
Mummy: It's a Gentlemen's Club
10YOG: Mummy, what's a Gentlemen's Club?

Unfortunately they went out of earshot at that point.

More of an 'overhead online'. A Mr Pickle and a Mr Joy are being sued by someone, so their friends keep spamming me for contributions to the 'Pickle-Joy Defense Fund'.

In line at Price Chopper grocery, ie. the ghettomart:


mother: no you can't have the candy bar. how many times do I have to tell you no!?


daughter: fine, I'll go live with daddy then!

rangers fans walking through town centre singing at mid-day - we are not sectarian, we are not sectarian. WE are NOT sectarian!

guy making most of the noise stops, right by the cenotaph, while his friends walk on, starts stamping his feet, while mothers with children and old folk back away - UDA! UDA! UDA!

mother to daughter (like its exciting): come on, lets go to the pound shop!

Over-read in the Ars Technica forum (and I've had this conversation):

quote:

"Now type 'command Q'."
"Okay. Does 'command' have one 'm' or two?"
"No, not the word command. The command key."
"Where's the command key?"
"Um. The cloverleaf. Do you see the cloverleaf?"
"No."
"The apple key! Press the apple key, then the letter 'q'!"
"All that happened was the letter 'q' showed up in my document."
"You have to press them at the same time!"

I've been wanting to post one of these forever.

Heard on the intercom at work; " good evening ladies and gentlemen, will George Burns please meet your party at the front entrance, will George Burns please meet your party at the front entrance?"

A co-worker says to me, "he's dead". I respond " yeah man, it's gonna take him a looooooong time to make it to the front entrance".
( for those that don't know, George Burns was the name of a famous 1950's t.v. comedian. He was known for his dry and dead-pan delivery, for smoking big cigars and in his later years for his alleged womanizing )

on radio this morning, talking about water supplies being reconnected after flooding.

journalist - the water isn't for drinking, its for washing, bathing and showering only.

(Blurry, patched-together recollection of a recent Martini-soaked conversation)

Mrs. Frog: "The Queen... Zat's someteeng zat I 'ave ze difficulty weeth about moveeng to Canadia... haveeng to pledge allegiance to ze Queen."

Oldman: "...the Queen of Canadia..."

Mrs. Frog: "Eet offends me. I am frromm a république."

Oldman: "How is that significant, exactly?"

Mrs. Frog: "We cut ze heads off ze rroyalty."

Oldman: "Ah, yes. Of course. Hmmm. This...is turning out to be a cultural exchange, isn't it?"

Mrs. Frog: "Voila."

NOT Mrs Arkan surely...

Si.

i'm getting deja vu.
did you not have that conversation last time as well?
must be something about MOM's martinis that bring out an urge towards regicide!

Taking my nieces to get their ears pierced, teasing my 7 yr old nephew about getting his ears pierced too:

Me: Come on J, we'll get your ears done first.
J: Noooo... I don't want my ears pierced. Daa-ad, if I don't get my ears pierced can I get a tattoo instead?