Two old guys at the lunch counter.

Old Guy #1: "The change in my pocket don't clink the way it did when I was a kid."

Old Guy #2: "Its cuz dares no copper in da pennies, nor silver in da dimes. Pennies is copper colored zinc now. Dimes is chrome, or nickel-plate or sumthin."

Old Guy #1: "Sonsabitches. Who did that?"

Old Guy #2: "Democrats."

"At least she seemed to shag well."

Girl 1- That guy keeps texting me pictures of his penis and asking if it is really that small.

Girl 2- He actually showed it to me. I didn't know what to tell him. I just saw a pair of balls, I didn't even see his penis sitting up there on top of them at first.

the chancer - "you know the wee fella, sits down the back. was playing golf yesterday and there he was waving didn't recognise him. wouldn't say he was disabled, but... uh, obviously he has that height thing going on."

quote:

Originally posted by Newro:
"At least she seemed to shag well."

couple getting off bus behind us. he says "they got on well, and she said the sex was good. don't know what the problem was"

One minute ago:

Blonde female student: "Ohmigod, how can you write about someone who is ugly?"

Lith: "Yeeeah, ugly people don't deserve to be written about."

Blonde female student: *death stares at Lith*

and did you not reply that it meant that at least someone would write about people like her and she should thank you. before pretending to be sick a little and running from the room...

That would've been a tactical error in wit, Push.

She was fairly attractive, in the "wouldn't say no" sort of category.

More importantly, she no doubt saw me as less attractive than her (which is true, but it's not like it took her to figure that out for me.) Obviously, given what she said, physical attractiveness is a big priority with her. When you wanna take some vain bitch or bastard down a peg is an inherent and practically (in terms of expediency, keeping the flow of the repartee going) impenetrable defence.

I worked that out from her first line: "...how can you write about someone who is ugly?" Two possible interpretations of that line:

1) Unattractive people are subhuman, and beneath contempt of what she considers worthy people.

2) Unattractive people are victims of a severe disability and need to be pitied.

So she obviously thinks she's better, or more capable in life, than an unattractive person. Stating that I thought she was unattractive would've hit that defence of her thinking she's attractive square on, because it's patently untrue. How can Lith think I'm unattractive, when I don't find him attractive at all and clearly have had boyfriends that look better than him?

Would've been like the D-Day force landing at Calais instead of Normandy.

I'd sidestepped that by using sarcasm - the lowest form of wit, sure, but the highest form of intelligence. And by implying that I considered her an equal, I sidestepped her vanity defence. Of course, if she called me on that, it'd further highlight the stupidity of what she said - diggin' a deeper hole.

So, the best course of action was to leave it, move on. The damage is done. I've already (further) highlighted her subconscious prejudices - something she desperately wanted to keep hidden. She dug her own hole, mostly. Her stare was defeat admitted, I'd gotten the last word in, and knowing when to quit is a vital skill. Like knowing how attractive you really are. And it was a good last word. Quit when you're ahead.

As I said, though, I believe it was her subconscious (or at least the conscious things she thinks of all the time but doesn't say) coming to the fore, a mere Freudian slip. But that's a good place to work on, because it's what really makes a person tick. Because when they listen to it, you'll know about it, but won't be able to prove it.

I didn't bring up the topic - the tutor did, in fact. Journalism tutors and lecturers have a reputation for borderline viciousness, because unlike most academics, they've got real-world experience. (This guy works on the state newspaper.) They know there're unattractive people out there, and know that people do judge people by their looks. It happens. (One of the others shocked another class, when posed with the "saucy" question of "What do say when there's a girl who sleeps with people to get stories?" by answering, flatly, "Easy. We'd just say they're good at getting stories on their back.")

We were discussing a possible angle for a feature story on Jessica Schipper, a swimmer who's just won gold in Beijing, but is considered less attractive than her peers, and this shows because she's gotten significantly fewer sponsorship deals.

Of course, this was one of the girls in the class who mentioned that they only read gossip magazines - OK!, New Idea, shite like that - or fashion rags like Cosmopolitan.

So, yeah, how they could be shocked by the fact that there're unattractive people out there and may be worse off for it is beyond me.

Oh, dear. That was more sarcasm.

Most of these kids are just outta high school, and are learning that there're places where things like looks and popularity aren't the society divining rods of worth.

Learning is pain.

Bar owner to staff member.

Bar owner - Gee this always happens. People get a job here and they stop tipping.

Staff - You charge me full price for my drinks and I work here. And you don't even give me a full pour. What would I be tipping you for exactly?

staff-sorry, we're out of orange juice.
customer-hmm, ok, what are those bottles in the fridge?
staff-different types of juices.
customer-what do you have?
staff-pear, banana, apple, tomato & mango.
customer- tomato and mango? :O
staff-no, sorry. tomato. and. mango.

Douglas: "I've never met an unattractive Dutch woman."

Jacques: "Me neither. They are awesome."

Douglas: "I think so too. I should marry a Dutch woman."

Jacques: "A Dutch supermodel would be the best."

Douglas: "Never going to happen."

Jacques: "Why's that."

Douglas: "The wooden shoes ruin their feet for the catwalk."

me- so last night we talked about hooking up with that couple you know for a girl swap.

her- yes?

me- the thing is, I don't think she really does it for me.

her- well maybe she won't be the only girl there but I think she is hot. besides i'd rather have a girl there I don't have to worry about you with.

me- well, ok.

Run away, Edit.

Run far away.

Dude, she is the one pushing it the hardest.

And she is trying to line up this gorgeous blue haired girl to be there too.

I'm with Trog on this. Do you just find dating women who aren't trouble too boring?

yes

Hm. This morning, my wife and I had English muffins with toasted cheese on them. Drank some good Mocha Java. Decadent enough just with two of us, I think.

Besides, I didn't make enough coffee for a third person. So, you know, would have been awkward.

"Don't you take my boyfriend away, girl!"

"..."

"See, I told you I've got a lot of boyfriends."

- two six year old girls (if that) in the book section of Big W (Walmart equivalent)

I am willing to risk that right now in my life.

Besides just imagine the interesting stuff I will overhear.