pauline: i've said nothing before your post about beautiful or brilliant, or even mean. i just said different. a girl swayed by money or being cruel, (as in newros case) just doesn't seem like a girl worth the time. i'd say whatever attracted him to her should probably be changed to suit a girl that lacks these bad qualities.

OK, are we still friends, then jasimar?

I'm not sure why you feel I misconstrued your post, since I agree. I do disagree with Crash's reply, in which he says that changing your search parameters means lowering your standards. You can have all the standards you like, but chasing girls who aren't attracted to you is just hopeless.

Crash asked for a beautiful intelligent one, but complained he can't get one. So I offered a solution. Just find one that likes you!

I think you're talking to Crash there, jasimar. He's the one who misinterpreted 'changing your search parameters' as 'lower your standards'.

Anyway, I'm not only glad to be out of this game, I'm glad never to have been in it. Sure I was lonely, but I can't stand playing games with people's feelings, or being played with. So I guess I agree with the cat.

P.S. So much for the significance of post 3000. Bye bye pressure!

my mistake. too many quotes. please excuse, i get wretched when there's a tight dress to wear. happy new year to me.

quote:

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Originally posted by jasimar:
my mistake. too many quotes. please excuse, i get wretched when there's a tight dress to wear. happy new year to me.

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I think this belongs in the What are you wearing thread. Sorry about the dress. Any case, I'm sure you'll look A-OK!

Getting the thread back on track:

A woman I love said she loves me.

Good things happen. We should value them more.

José

Wow cool!

You guys remember the WGB dating threads? God it was painful.

I'll just go ahead and mention that I'm relatively horrified by some of the dating strategies proposed by some of our men here.

I don't know, maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'm kind of into being nice to people and making a conscious effort not to be manipulative. Granted, I don't have any trouble getting laid, I have nice relationships, and tend to cope pretty well with rejection. Maybe the attitude is a result of the lifestyle but maybe it's vice versa.

Thanks jas, ckc, pauline and colin for bolstering my faith in the dating pool (even if some of you aren't in it anymore).

Dating women is looking better and better!

Although the woman I've been chasing is looking like she's going to blow me off, but hey you know. I'm not taking it personally. Most things have a lot less to do with me than I think.

quote:

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Originally posted by hurtstotouchfire:
Wow cool!

You guys remember the WGB dating threads? God it was painful.

I'll just go ahead and mention that I'm relatively horrified by some of the dating strategies proposed by some of our men here.

I don't know, maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'm kind of into being nice to people and making a conscious effort not to be manipulative. Granted, I don't have any trouble getting laid, I have nice relationships, and tend to cope pretty well with rejection. Maybe the attitude is a result of the lifestyle but maybe it's vice versa.

Thanks jas, ckc, pauline and colin for bolstering my faith in the dating pool (even if some of you aren't in it anymore).

Dating women is looking better and better!

Although the woman I've been chasing is looking like she's going to blow me off, but hey you know. I'm not taking it personally. Most things have a lot less to do with me than I think.

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Shut the hell up, newbie

Dating for me was a great deal like being mauled with a blunt ax. Conversation is something I just don't get, unless I'm writing both parts. Every girl I've ever dated has hunted me down. Dates happened to me, I certainly didn't plan them.

For a lot of guys, it seems that women are a game that they play. I just can't parse that.

Mind you, I've got ten years of marriage under my belt, and I still don't know how to have a conversation. I try, I really do, but dinner with me is usually just awkward silence. I have to assume that life with me is just one slowly spiralling hell. *shrug*

Oh I know you did not just say that to me.

Don't make me get all Oakland on you, city boy.

quote:

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Originally posted by hurtstotouchfire:
Wow cool!
Thanks jas, ckc, pauline and colin for bolstering my faith in the dating pool (even if some of you aren't in it anymore).

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Actually, I have a hunch that none (?) of the above are in the dating pool any more. There you go! All the good ones are are taken!

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Dating women is looking better and better!

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Really? For me, it was just endless heartbreak, but with a smaller available population.

quote:

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Dating women is looking better and better!

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I agree, Hurts! I tried dating girls a lot and it just never worked out. Dating women has been for more interesting.

Am I being manipulative in my dating techniques and treating women like they're trophies in a game? To some degree, yes I am. And I'm not one bit shy about admitting it. In order to get what I want, I must maneuver myself stretegically.

Anyone who thinks that there ISN'T a "battle" going on between the sexes is fooling themselves. Whether it's a concious or unconscious thing is completely immaterial- women LIKE to be chased. I personally call it the "far away, so close game", which translates into meaning that the woman you want will do whatever she can to keep you at arm's length in order to challenge you. She wants to see that you're willing to put out some effort and at least TRY to understand her- you gotta push a little and then make a tactical retreat in order to keep HER interest.

I've learned this through experience and I feel that it is absolutely true. And there's really nothing wrong with it. I mean, where do you think the phrase "I won her heart" came from? To win means to have succeeded in achieving a goal against an opponent. In this case the goal happens to BE my opponent- and when I say "opponent" I mean to say that she's someone playing opposite to me, NOT that she's my enemy. Major distinction between the two.

The game can be a fun one to play and has its own small rewards, but to rail against it will only mean that you won't get what you want, that you'll be alone and end up feeling defeated.

I couldn't give two shits about the whole "nice-guy syndrome" thing. Five years ago it meant something to me, but now it's just an excuse to bitch and moan about being unsuccessful. I TRY to be nice, generally speaking, but it's not something I wear as a badge of courage, like it's a mark against me. And I also make it perfectly clear to my female friends that, while they think I'm a nice guy, I DO have my asshole moments and I'm not shy about letting that side of me come out when I feel it's necessary.

I play the game. There's nothing wrong with that. Women play the game, too. And there's nothing wrong with that, either.

Which brings me back to my favorite quote- You lose 100% of the shots you don't take. If you don't get in the game, you'll NEVER reach your goal.

Dunno, I like to think that everyone wants the same thing: hot/smart Person of Preferred Gender. You just have to find one who mutually wants you, too.

Strategy be damned. How's a little self-improvement? That's how women usually attract mates. Read a little, have interests, have passion, be supernaturally nice, take care of yourself, get into therapy and lose the issues. I hate being pursued, only to discover that the hunter has not much else to offer than being persistent. If you're fixated on the chase, what do you do when you catch your prey?

Oop, this is sounding a little like the "be yourself" advice we all hate.

I'm technically single right now.

Pauline, I agree about the women, it's not easy. But when it's good it's really good. And frankly, I don't mind the frequent rejection so much anymore. You get used to it. Granted, I'm in the bay area, where the available population is pretty effing good.

quote:

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Originally posted by hurtstotouchfire:
Wow cool!

I'll just go ahead and mention that I'm relatively horrified by some of the dating strategies proposed by some of our men here.

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Hmmm, who do you mean? *lol*
As far as I remember I haven't given an advice (or strategies) how to win over a girl ... never would.
I'm the kind of person who belives that the moment the heart is involved, every kind of advice is senseless. Just let it happen ... and if not *shrugs* life goes on.

All I did was telling some more or less fitting stories about my folly of youth. (Hope that is the correct term.)

About woman who date women ... I remember some stories I have been told by certain woman, but then, not every couple is living happy, and some couples even enjoy fighting every now and then ... I am happy that we never fight and couldn't imagine that we seriously would.

I just think it was weird that just as I was getting used to the idea of being single for the rest of my life (and liking it), it started raining men.

quote:

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Originally posted by NightShadow:
Anyone who thinks that there ISN'T a "battle" going on between the sexes is fooling themselves.

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How was that saing, "in love and war all things are allowed"

quote:

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The game can be a fun one to play and has its own small rewards, but to rail against it will only mean that you won't get what you want, that you'll be alone and end up feeling defeated.

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This makes me think that what you want is the game. Which is fair enough. But to judge by the stats here (women's response and succesfully dating / married men's response), it is not a game that will get you much laid.

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Originally posted by JRE:
Getting the thread back on track:

A woman I love said she loves me.

Good things happen. We should value them more.

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I notice this failed to actually get the thread back on track, but I certainly agree with the sentiment.

quote:

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Anyone who thinks that there ISN'T a "battle" going on between the sexes is fooling themselves. Whether it's a concious or unconscious thing is completely immaterial- women LIKE to be chased. I personally call it the "far away, so close game", which translates into meaning that the woman you want will do whatever she can to keep you at arm's length in order to challenge you. She wants to see that you're willing to put out some effort and at least TRY to understand her- you gotta push a little and then make a tactical retreat in order to keep HER interest.

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My. Fucking. God.