I have now officially returned to the web.
My provider sent me a new router 6 months ago, and I've been too busy to set it up. 3 months ago, they just shut down the old connection, and meanwhile, I've been hacking a neighbours undependable wireless, and/or mailing and surfing from work (both of which I don't have time for).

But tonight, I sat down and got myself connected. Hi everyone

Now I just need to repair my G4, which contains several years of writing I can't access. Then I'll be back on track.

Welcome back.

Wow, this means mails I wrote back several months ago were now sent.
And a bill from my webhost arrived after living in cyber-space limbo for the same period.

Thanks, Colin

So should we catch M up on internet developments?

1. It's a series of tubes now.
2. It is being taken over by cats with poor grammar.

I rather liked this one:

quote:

Originally posted by colin:
I discovered a small jar in the kitchen which appeared to be full of dirt. On closer inspection it was "edible simulated dirt and bugs" marketed as some sort of fun treat. I stood there and thought to myself, This is it. Corporate America is training my children to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

So how much did you eat?

quote:

Originally posted by colin:
I stood there and thought to myself, This is it. Corporate America is training my children to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

Finally, they're teaching something useful.

quote:

Originally posted by Marshdrifter:

quote:

Originally posted by colin:
I stood there and thought to myself, This is it. Corporate America is training my children to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

Finally, they're teaching something useful.

Oh, please! I'll only start getting excited when they market cardboard boxes with urine stains as playhouses. Then kids can have little tea parties inside and serve dirt and bugs to all the guests.

quote:

Originally posted by Meru:
Oh, please! I'll only start getting excited when they market cardboard boxes with urine stains as playhouses. Then kids can have little tea parties inside and serve dirt and bugs to all the guests.

If they're marketing them to kids, they'll have
urine stains soon enough.

quote:

Originally posted by Marshdrifter:
If they're marketing them to kids, they'll have
urine stains soon enough.

Very true. But will they have the chocolate that looks like fake poop? Because that also goes well with a tea party with dirt-and-bug salad.

quote:

Originally posted by Meru:
Very true. But will they have the chocolate that looks like fake poop? Because that also goes well with a tea party with dirt-and-bug salad.

I should point out that most of my picnics with
dirt-and-bug salad are typically excrement free.

Yes, but poop seems like the natural side dish to bugs and dirt. You know, like garlic bread to spaghetti.

Besides, if you went on picnics in public parks with a bunch of irresponsible dog walkers, you'd totally see poop.

(I'm just fucking around. Don't pay any attention to me.)

quote:

Originally posted by Meru:
Yes, but poop seems like the natural side dish to bugs and dirt. You know, like garlic bread to spaghetti.

Besides, if you went on picnics in public parks with a bunch of irresponsible dog walkers, you'd totally see poop.

Well... there's a lot of deer poop where I have
my picnics, but you typically don't sit there
and certainly don't eat it (although I can think
of a few practical jokes...).

A long time ago, I formulated the "Soylent theory".

I proposed that a "Soylent green" product had already been developed in corporate research laboratories -- cheap & easy to make.

However, taste testers widely regarded it as "nasty."

"They" made a long-term plan. To train the public to accept Soylent Green.

So, each highly-processed snack food that is brought to your grocery store is there to teach you to accept some part of Soylent Green.

Here is what I anticipate:
--the size & shape of a pop-tart(tm)
--the rubbery texture of a gummy bear(tm) or fruit leather
--the "blue raspberry" color which was trendy a couple of years ago.

I'm sure I could come up with a few more.

Oh, yeah. It will probably have a picture of a farm, with a smiling sun on the lable, just like lots of crap does now.

Today? I just got up. I havn't even finished my tea.

quote:

Off to Cardiff this arvo

which is where i was a year ago!

last thing at work this arvo i pulled a fully laden trolley onto my foot. felt immediately nauseous. was glad to find my sock wasn't bloody and so i'm just a bit hobbly now. tomorrow's gonna be interesting.

somersault's on tv. funny to think the part of me that relates so heavily to it is so old.

quote:

Originally posted by misty:
last thing at work this arvo i pulled a fully laden trolley onto my foot. felt immediately nauseous. was glad to find my sock wasn't bloody and so i'm just a bit hobbly now. tomorrow's gonna be interesting.

Time for a pegleg? Yarr...

My entire route was alive with the sounds of a man and woman screaming at each other about some thing-
The way the entire area is set up so there voices echoed everywhere-
The fight was being held on one of the last street I deliver to- My boss had decided to call as i started the street and kept talking as usual dose-
The male end of the argument spotted me across the street talking on my cell- and decided to start yelling at me-
"Mind your own fcuking business. We aren't bothering anyone."
I almost laughed considering I could hear them three streets away- Then someone living on the side of the street I was walking on yelled.
"You are waking up the entire neighborhood asshole!"
I stood there for while and watched them(people in opposing houses) argue- My boss asking me the entire time what was going on- And me giving commentary- Until the cops showed up-

Yesterday-
On my upper route it was trash day- So everyone put out there trash the night before- I am always amazed what these people throw out- I've supplied a few people with new computer monitors with what these people waste-
This time a washing machine and dryer- I stood there for a while and pondered what might be wrong with them- I went back later and asked the lady who had set them out-
Dryer- Dosen't dry very fast-
Washer- has an oil leak-

They where only about year old- She just decided to buy new ones- Which she showed off to me- They where nice- the exact kind I would have if I had the cash flow-
She told me I could have the ones she got rid of if I took them that afternoon so I did-
I have a few friends who can look at the washer- and the dryer probably just needs the lint cleaned out of it-

My mom wanted to give them to someone after I fixed them- I told her they belong to me so "No"- She has a habit of giving away things to anyone who need them if she has it- Which is nice of her but troublesome if we happen to need it-