quote:

Originally posted by Chris H:
"Whatever C-Po, drop us a fat hook."

best,
Chris H

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A N A M A T E U R S G U I D E T O B A R E T I Q U E T T E
The Vortex offers one of the most extensive selections of beer and spirits to be found anywhere, so we can understand
why you might decide to come in and "hang" at the bar. If you don't normally spend much time in bars, we would like
to offer the following information as a guideline of acceptable BAR behavior. We hope that you will find this
information useful. If you already know the ropes, we hope that you will find it entertaining.
PROVIDING IDENTIFICATION
Don't give anyone a hard time when they ask you for your
ID. "How old do you think I am?" is a stupid question.
Sideshow geeks get paid to guess your age. We on the
other hand, are required to verify your age. By law, you
must present valid identification to consume alcohol no
matter how old you are. If you didn't bring your ID with
you, and you are refused a drink, or denied access to the
bar, it's your own damned fault for being a dumb-ass. We
will under no circumstances serve alcohol to anyone that is
visibly intoxicated, so straighten up clown-boy. It is also
illegal to remove any alcoholic beverage from our premises.
We do not make the laws, but we are required to obey and
enforce them. Our liquor license, and the livelihood of our
entire staff depends on it, so don't be a dick.
CHOOSING A DRINK
If the bar is busy, know what you want to drink when the
Bartender approaches. Questions like, "What's a good
shot?" or, "What beers do you have?" are silly and time
consuming. As you can see by this Liquor Menu, our
selection of beers and spirits is gigantic. If you're not
sure what you want, please review this list.
ORDERING FROM THE BARTENDER
Never say; "I'll have a gin and tonic, and make it strong."
In doing so you call into question our Bartender's ability to
make a drink. You also make yourself look like a cheap
idiot. If you want a double, ask for a double –and be
prepared to pay for a double. Never snap your fingers
or whistle at the Bartender, unless they happen to be
a Cocker Spaniel.
PAYING FOR YOUR DRINK
If you are ordering "cash & carry," at the bar, have your
money ready. Fumbling for your wallet or purse prevents
the Bartender from waiting on other customers. Trying
to pay for a single drink with a credit card is really
pathetic, so if you don't have cash, start a tab.
TIPPING FOR SERVICE
Tipping is how our Bartenders make their living. Most
people tip somewhere within the 15 to 20 percent
range. Some "regulars" tip significantly more. At any
rate, Bartenders know who tips well and who doesn't.
If you can hear your tip hit the bar, chances are that
you're being too cheap. As a general rule, don't mess
with the person who signs your paycheck, cuts your
hair, or mixes your drinks. The results are guaranteed
to be anything but pleasant.
SHOWING YOUR ASS
Few things are as embarrassing as being cut-off at your
favorite bar. Do everyone a favor. When you feel you
have had enough, cut yourself off – before you get stupid.
If you insist on making a jack-ass of yourself when you
drink, then drink only on Saint Patrick's Day and New
Year's Eve. These are official "Amateur Nights."
You will have lots of company.
ACCEPTING YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
Don't be an idiot. Don't drink and drive. If you do not
have a designated driver and you are not sure of your
own condition, please never hesitate to ask – we will
gladly call you a taxi. Cab-it – it's the right thing to do.

quote:

Originally posted by editengine:

they had a cute guide to bar etitquette on the back of their menus
Sorry about the formatting but it is from a pdf.

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TIPPING FOR SERVICE
Tipping is how our Bartenders make their living.

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Tipping is how our Bartenders make their living.

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Originally posted by Sentinel400:

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Tipping is how our Bartenders make their living.

That was the sentence that raised an eyebrow here, too. "Accept YOUR responsibility", you cheap fucks!

quote:

Originally posted by Crash:
Air fish

I would love to see a giant Tiger fish version flying through downtown Manhattan .

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The prevailing American superstitions are: one, there is a Supreme Being, omnipotent and benevolent; two, some sexual predilections are more natural than others; and three, there is no class system in the United States. No one who denies any of these things can be elected to high office. As a patriot, Vidal naturally has no patience with this affront to our civic intelligence.