quote:

Cannot help but notice that Burroughs looks an awful lot like Split.

Eh, it's just the hat. (Nice hat, by the way) I don't wear glasses anymore, got rid of my last vested suit years ago and would never shoot at a man armed with a manual typewriter.

An IBM Selectric, on the other hand, well, that's a deadly weapon.

Avoiding the serial killer inference, eh? All right, we'll roll with that.

That is one epic comic sketch Archie.

I give it three and a half lazy journalists out of four!

quote:

Originally posted by Trogdor:
I myself got past never feeling good without heroin/morphine by just realizing that never feeling good... ain't so bad.

Battered, deep fried fish (walleye, crappie) can get me close. Close enough.

I agree with everything except the fish part.

quote:

After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.

"” William S. Burroughs

Is that guy puking in the background?

quote:

Originally posted by VillianGlib-sinBored:

After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.
"” William S. Burroughs

...yet.

in bed?

Here is a fitting tribute song for the "Old Man of the Mountain," Meester Billy Burroughs, written by the devilishly talented Jolie Holland and preformed live by the beautiful Kokokaina.

(Here is the original studio version by Jolie Holland however viewer discretion is advised. The YouTube video that plays to the original music is quite graphic art from DeviantArt.)

quote:

Originally posted by Splitcoil:

quote:

Cannot help but notice that Burroughs looks an awful lot like Split.

Eh, it's just the hat. (Nice hat, by the way) I don't wear glasses anymore, ...

Did you get Lasik done? I'm sorely tempted to do that. My eyes have suddenly gone bad in the reading department. It happened very quickly, I was expecting some sort of gradual fall off. The eye doc says I should maybe try monocular vision. Get one eye done for distance, one for reading. What will that do to my shooting???

quote:

Originally posted by shake:

quote:

Originally posted by Splitcoil:

quote:

Cannot help but notice that Burroughs looks an awful lot like Split.

Eh, it's just the hat. (Nice hat, by the way) I don't wear glasses anymore, ...

Did you get Lasik done? I'm sorely tempted to do that. My eyes have suddenly gone bad in the reading department.

Try them in the Men's Casual department before you spend money on surgery.

quote:

Originally posted by shake:
Did you get Lasik done? I'm sorely tempted to do that. My eyes have suddenly gone bad in the reading department. It happened very quickly, I was expecting some sort of gradual fall off. The eye doc says I should maybe try monocular vision. Get one eye done for distance, one for reading. What will that do to my shooting???

I did Lasik. My doc kept warning me that it would do nothing to offset the eventual need for reading glasses. No idea how your doc's plan would work.

I, too, have been considering Lasik. Like the surgery for fixing flat feet, apparently it guarantees damage later on in life.

I'm fucked on both counts.

No, not more damage than usual. Just doesn't prevent the natural decay of close-up vision when you get old.

Moreover, I highly recommend Lasik, but I wouldn't go to the budget places. Check around for the best clinic in your area, one that includes plenty of pre-op consultations and post-op checkups.

[quote]Originally posted by Splitcoil:
Moreover, I highly recommend Lasik, but I wouldn't go to the budget places. Check around for the best clinic in your area, one that includes plenty of pre-op consultations and post-op checkups.[/quote

Yeah, I'm very suspicious of the types that place ads in the TV guide on Sundays - "LASIK EYE SURGERY! $999! AS SEEN ON TV!"

My vision problems are fairly mild, though - -1.25. Serves me right for being part Asian and reading a lot as a youth, I guess.

I like the idea of contact lenses, but the reality of them, for me, leaves a lot to be desired. I've got one eye narrower than the other, and after wearing them for about four hours, I sincerely wish I could rip my corneas off. Also, optometrists around here are strangely reluctant to keep any in stock. They make a point of it. Probably so they can do the whole "Look, we'll have to order it in, it's an unbelievable pain in the arse, and there're shipping fees that are surprisingly high for a couple of lightweight boxes weighing about 200g and measuring 15 by 3 by 2 centimetres, and I will hate you for the rest of your life..." thing.

Better off buying the $600 Dolce & Gabbana frames that are guaranteed to make you look like a severe idiot in a years' time, or instantaneously if you don't look like a Spanish fashion model already. That's if you aren't cursed with a large brain and the skull size that entails. That doesn't really matter anyway, because anyone with decent cognitive functions would realise that a $600 set of frames, without lenses, are a massive rip job.

However, the upside is that I've learned to enjoy the subtle hardening of the smile that comes with a salesperson realising they're probably not gonna get much commission off me today. The muscles around the mouth twitch slightly, as the natural smile tries to fade to a frown but the sheer will of the smiler tries to hold it back. Think Arnie trying out facial expression at the gas station in T2.

There's inevitable disappointed, embarassed "Oh..." such as the salesperson would only otherwise wheel out if he had prematurely ejaculated during foreplay/she had been on the receiving end of premature ejaculation. Or, vice versa, I'm open-minded. This is as your temples are crushed by fine Italian titanium.

The next stage is the "Errr, well, let's see what else we've got here..." phase, whereby their hands fly from their previously clasped position as the salesperson bends down to the cheaper, larger frames. Whereas designer frames get more expensive the smaller they are and the less materials they use, the no-name brands are the complete opposite. They will then pick up a pair designed with the elderly demographic firmly in mind. Possibly made from faux tortoiseshell.

As you raise a brow that rests above you myopic eyes, the salesperson finally confirms their suspicions that someone such as yourself has no right at all to be in a place of high ocular fashion, even if such place is a franchise and there frame range is chosen by the some marketing consultant back in Melbourne, and that no one with a noggin size not officially recognised by Men's Health should even shop for glasses. Really, it would help then when they look in the mirror every morn. Lower the suicide rate.

This is the final stage, and the salesperson will signify this by uttering "Well, just have a look around the store, and if there's anything I can do, just come see me." At which point they will promptly head to the front desk and go on break. This is to be correctly interpreted as "Fuck off, freak." If you hang around long enough to be there when they return from break, they will call security.

It is a sad but beautiful thing. An intricate, complex ballet.

You can find joy in anything if you look hard enough.

It's easier if you've got a huge brain.

Because you don't often have a choice.

I'm currently doing the monocular thing, but with contacts - different prescriptions in each eye, one for close, one for distance.

Seems to be working OK for both motorcycling (which might be nearly as dependent on depth perception as shooting) and reading. The one thing it doesn't do well is PowerPoint shows in dark rooms. The boring response is to wear glasses to conferences and such, the more dashing one is to get an eyepatch for those occasions.

And yeah, I'm with ya on the big bonce challenge, lith. With the added bonus of an odd shaped face that makes most glasses frames sit too high off my cheeks, looking weird. Hence the contacts, and my adherence to this ancient and corroding pair of Serengeti frames that actually work. Got 'em from Walmart.

I do have a set of Ray-Ban frames that were expensive, true, but were the only fucking set that looked sensible. Black thin frames.

I got 'em the day we had dinner at the Carlton Crest on UQ's dime, if you recall. It's no the Carlton Crest no more, though.