An Alberta father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered. " So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, it might be OK in Ontario & British Columbia but we're not having any of THAT in Alberta."

She's such a sweet and proper little girl.

You gotta teach em values or they might grow up to be -ing k.d.lang or something.

________
You have to give up.

I found this joke extremely offensive, Bravus, and here's why:

Daddy-long-legs are not SPIDERS!!

Oh, unless you meant "Daddy-long-legs spiders" in which case, carry on...

Um, yes, the joke is *definitely* about daddy-long-legs spiders, not Opiliones.... (phew)

For the non-Canadians, the federal government in Ottawa is looking at introducing same-sex marriage legislation, and the Alberta government (redneck province) is looking at legal and (arguably) illegal ways to make that be of no effect.

Jeez, Bravus, if you have to explain it...we are people who 'read books', you know.

LOL - well yeah, but this is too recent to be in books, it's only in newspapers. Jeez, try to be considerate to the poor foreigners and look what you get.

Q: How does an Alberta boy propose?

A: You're WHAT?!?!?!

More trouble...

When I moved to Alberta from Ontario in the 1980s, there was a big movement against the Federal government's policy of taxing Alberta oil and using the proceeds in the rest of the country. The very first person I met, in a cafe the day I arrived, was wearing a baseball cap that said: "Let the Eastern Bastards starve in the dark," a reference to Alberta's oil and beef riches.

So, Alberta is sort of like Texas?

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Contents may have settled during shipping.

Predating that old saw, in the late 70's, after a few years of people using $50 bills for toilet paper, when OPEC pulled the whole rug out, a commonly seen bumper sticker (and probably still seen, given the number of late 70's vehicles still on the roads):
PLEASE GOD LET THERE BE ANOTHER BOOM AND I PROMISE I WON'T PISS IT AWAY THIS TIME

More trouble...

quote:

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For the non-Canadians, the federal government in Ottawa is looking at introducing same-sex marriage legislation, and the Alberta government (redneck province) is looking at legal and (arguably) illegal ways to make that be of no effect.

---

Further for non-Canadians, the same-sex marriage debate is a rigid shouting match between a small cadre of gay nerds on the one hand, and a small cadre of uptight religious types the other.

The vast majority of us have no strong objection to same-sex marriage, but no real enthusiasm for it either. No one's getting particularly excited about it except the aforementioned groups, who have protests and yell at each other, and the media, who enjoy that sort of thing.

I think that homosexual couples should have the same rights to be just a miserable as hetrosexual couples.

they have the internet on computers now?

me too chatsubo

When I was in college back in the '70s I recall gay friends denouncing marriage as a repressive institution.

In Holland, one of the main arguments used to legislate gay marriage was about legal rights. For instance, if one of the partners died, the other couldn't claim the inheritance. In many cases the family would walk away with it.

quote:

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Originally posted by El Gringo:
In Holland, one of the main arguments used to legislate gay marriage was about legal rights. For instance, if one of the partners died, the other couldn't claim the inheritance. In many cases the family would walk away with it.

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I'm not hostile to the idea of same-sex marriage. I just don't think it's that much of a priority and I think Canadians need a bit more time to discuss the idea and get used to it and hopefully accept it. I think the end result will be something along the lines of the a civil union, so the religious types can "preserve the sanctity of marriage" (which wasn't really a religious rite in the first place, but that's another argument).

Anyway, just addressing the issue El Gringo raises, I ran into the same situation before I got married. My then-girlfriend (now wife) was living with me in my house, and I had to fly out of town on business. I suddenly had the horrible thought that if, god forbid, yadda-yadda, she would be completely out in the cold.

I guess I could have called my M.P. and demanded that the nation's legal structures be re-written to protect the rights of unmarried girlfriend co-habitants, but I had a plane to catch. So instead I wrote up a will clearly expressing my wishes should something happen, and left it on my desk at work.

Of course I'm a lawyer, so this wouldn't be an option for most people, but I'm pretty sure that writing a will is easier than getting married in most jurisdictions.

Well, over here we already had the Civil Union solution for quite some time, but I guess the main issue was they wanted the same rights as heterosexuals. Since the law was passed it's now possible for gay couples to adopt children.

Personally, I don't believe that marriage should be a legal institution at all. Marriage should be a cultural institution, civil union should be a legal institution. I attended a double wedding in Transylvania a few years back. It's traditional there to have two ceremonies: a religious ceremony in the church, then everybody walks down to city hall, where there's a civil ceremony recognized by law. I believe we should do away with "marriage" as a legal institution and rename it "civil union". Then everybody who wants to can go out and have the religious wedding ceremony of their choice, and then get civilly unionized with the man, woman, goat or sheep of their choice.

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"When the fight gets too big, they don't bother with coffins." -- the coffin-maker, YOJIMBO

See how dangerous a little joke can be, Bravus. I hope you've learnt a valuable lesson.

Oh, and what Splitcoil said.

I think it's high time we legalise polygamy. After that, gay marriage shouldn't bother anyone.

pissin' in the meme pool