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Random Thoughts
You might be a ______ if...
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I suppose we all have these types of lists to make fun of the place we come from (or maybe this is a local phenom since Florida is pretty easy to mock)
Troll your inbox for the list sent to you by that friend that we all have, who forwards every crappy joke and and chain email but occaisionally sends you something good. You might be a Floridian if... "Down South" means Key West "Panhandling" means going to Pensacola . You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive. Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church. No, wait, flip flops are good for church too Socks are only for bowling Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit Tap water makes you vomit Sweet tea can be served at any meal. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood. You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida . You measure distance in minutes. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes All the local festivals are named after a fruit. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade. Your winter coat is made of denim You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65 You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas. It's not "pop." It's "soda." Anything under 70 is chilly. You've hosted a hurricane party. You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. You pass on the right and honk at the elderly. You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Okahumpka and Loxahatchee. (I grew up in a place called Thonotosassa myself) You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself. You've driven through Yeehaw Junction. Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the NRA and a confederate flag. You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools. You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim. You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas. You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important! You could swim before you could read You have to drive north to get to The South -- No restraint, no fear |
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The last Sydney themed list of these I saw appeared to recycle most of the Californian ones.
........................................................................................ Drop a house on her from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. |
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you might be arrested if you punch a cop
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Most of Editengine's apply to Phoenix as well. Other regional idiosyncrasies include knowing to crack a car window in the summer to prevent your windshield blowing out, and possessing the ability to repair an evaporative cooler.
My former/future (and Archie's current) hometown has more regional flavor than just about anywhere in the States. -------------- Debs/Goldman '08! |
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It's true. Since the steel mills closed the flavor is largely bitter. That's why we wear stonewashed jeans and act as if time stopped in the early 80's.
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you guys are killing me
so you might be a pittsburgian (?) if.... This message has been edited. Last edited by: editengine, -- No restraint, no fear |
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You might be a pittsburgher if you bought something that Myron Cope advertised.
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[looks across the room to two Terrible Towels draped over the rocking chair] Yep. -------------- Debs/Goldman '08! |
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You might be from Hampton Roads if your daily commute involves driving under a large body of water.
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You might be from Washington if you step outside for a shower.
Daily. As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue. -Albert Einstein |
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You might be a Manitoban if...
-You've taught your pet to hunt mosquitoes. -Your pet gets beaten up by a mosquito. -You can drive on icy roads. -You don't pull over for ambulances. -You complain that it's too cold in the wintertime, and too hot during summer. -You wait for the snow to melt to find the change you lost during the winter. -You call a wool hat a "toque". -You use "not even" as a retort. ~I'm in a mental cage, I'm locked up.~ |
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You might be a Vancouverite
If you walk out of a 'Japanese' restaurant the minute they bring you a porceline spoon with your miso soup. ------------------------ If you're not out on the edge, you're taking up too much space. ------------------------- I think my Naomi Klein gland just blew out. |
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You might be a Dane if..
You know the difference between Arne Jacobsen's "7'eren" and "Myren" or at least know what these names are referring to You fly a flag on your birthday and decorate your birthday cake with paper flags You are a member of a union, it's unemployment insurance organization and it's pension fund. You have insurance on *everything* you own and on anything that might happen to you. You wait at crosswalks until they turn green even if there is no traffic in sight. You love to eat strong licorice with ammonium chloride flavoring. You think you speak English perfectly even though you don't. You shower naked before and after swimming in a public pool and you sit naked in the sauna. You say, "I pay my taxes gleefully" |
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...or else it gets the hose again. |
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There's a good chance you're belgian if you know the difference between Abbey and Monostary brewed beers.
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Porcelain? That's luxury that is! They usually bring those cheapo plastic ones. I've become more tolerant to the whole spoon thing - I just gracefully place it aside and drink straight from the soup bowl. Was der hahn ?!?!? |
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Come on Scots, my whole family is from there, lets hear some good "You might be a Scot if..."-isms that I can send to my Mom for the next Clan Forsyth newsletter!
-- No restraint, no fear |
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You might be Welsh if you mention the perfect 3 foot left-hander break, and neglect to mention that the water was FOUR FUCKING DEGREES CELSIUS!
________________________ differently mediated |
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It must have been a warm day. |
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Random Thoughts
You might be a ______ if...
