Think of this thread as Pedants' Corner. Report your linguistic pet hates. Argue about correct pronunciation. Carp about poor spelling. Let your inner curmudgeon run free!

To start things off, here are some of my bugbears:

People who use "criteria" as a singular noun. Eg: "The criteria for acceptance is...". The word "criterion" is bleeding to death, people - do something!

The use of "of" instead of "have". Eg - "should of", "would of" and "could of".

People who write to impress rather than to communicate. So much business writing and academic writing is deliberately impenetrable because the author's goal is to inflate his or her importance in the eyes of the reader.

And here's one I find interesting because it shows a living language continuing to develop. Kids round here (and elsewhere???) will say that team A is "versing" team B on the weekend, rather than saying that team A is playing team B. It's a development of "versus".

Ok - now it's your turn...

Coulda', Woulda', Shoulda'

is one of my favorite songs!

Have you actually seen the written form "would of", because there's nothing at all wrong with the spoken form should'ave IMHO.

LYRICS
from Screamin' Jay Hawkins, At last

Coulda' made myself a better man
Woulda' kept our love like a wedding band
Shoulda' woulda' coulda'
Shoulda' woulda' coulda'

Coulda' kept you happy for eternity
Woulda' been great if it was just you and me
Shoulda' woulda' coulda'
Shoulda' woulda' coulda'

Together, for ever, that's the way of true love
Like a ray of sunlight from Heaven above

Shoulda' never let you go - I was a fool
Coulda' kept me by your side - I was meant for you
Woulda' realize that you belong to only me
Shoulda' made you know that true love is not free
Coulda' took a fool's advice only comes once
Like God's plan lots of love - lots of baby sons

Coulda' woulda' shoulda' stay together
Coulda' woulda' shoulda' just be happy
Coulda' woulda' shoulda' Darling I love you
Coulda' woulda' shoulda' Darling I need you
Coulda' woulda' shoulda' I mean like always
Coulda' woulda' shoulda' and then forever
Coulda' woulda' shoulda'...

If I shouda' would coulda'
If I couda' should you woulda'
I woulda' if I only coulda'
Coulda' woulda' shoulda'
Woulda' coulda' shoulda'
You woulda' if you just coulda'
I want you to woulda' because I know you woulda' shoulda'
Coulda' woulda' shoulda'
Shoulda' coulda' woulda'
Would, if I could, yes I could
Mercy, mercy, mercy

Well, I'm not really a native English speaker, so probably it would be best if I would keep away from this thread.

However, it is not that I am offended by the following example of abusage, it is more that I am a bit amused by the fact that a company actually advertise with this slogan:
"Think Different"
The correct usage would be:
"Think differently"
or
"Be different"

Nuclear;
New - Cleer NOT New - Kew - La
This one makes my teeth itch.

A bit like Germans using the word "cerealien".

You hear them using it in every bloody cornflakes commercial. But actually, that is not the problem, the problem is the way they pronounce it ... a bit like "Zar-Ie-Alie-EN". As soon as I hear that I will shout out by reflex: "There is not word like 'ZerIeALieEN', if you speak English it is pronounced 'cereals' or if you speak it German it is either 'Getreide' or 'Müsli'"! Arghhhh...

Another, more funny missuse of the Germans is the word "Handy".
If a German is talking about a Handy, he is actually talking about a "Mobile Phone".

Nobody really knows why they are calling them "Handy's" ... but it is so common by now that you can even find it in dictionaries. Of course being pronounced English ... every German assumes that it is coming from England or the States ... and are confused when nobody understands them if they ask for a "Handy."
http://www.handyfever.de/
http://www.handy.de/

But the best bit about it, are the old people who think it is some form of Americanization: "'A Telephon is des!"

"When we was dahn the pub, I were slappin a few nice arses hehehe know what I mean?"

My pet hate is people who use "pacific" when they mean "specific".

FP, I'm quite happy with "would've". But when someone says "would of" in a nice clear voice...

Ok, here's another one. People who avoid using the word "me", possibly because they think it vulgar or egocentric.

"If you're interested, please see John or myself after the meeting". Or worse, "please see John or I...".

Only I can do things to myself. You can't do anything to "myself", you can only do them to "me".

Another example of "me-avoidance" is the sportsperson interviewed after the game, who says "we" and "us" instead of "I" or "me".

Grrr.

White people who think it's ok to say "nigg*r". Just no.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: "I could care less." Damn that bugs me.

Well, I hate the opposite, the fear they have in the US to say, for example, black. I mean, "negative list"??? And if some one punches you you get what, a negative eye? If you don´t like someone over here in Spain you put them in your "lista negra", your black list. Does it mean spaniards are racist idiots? Well, actually they are, but against gipsies. People of dark skin in Spain amount for about 0.5%, so it would be silly to consider that the use of "black" in spanish is demeaning to what they, being politically correct, call "sub-saharians". Obviously we cannot use "afroamerican", which by the way also bugs the hell out of me (think the caribe tribe, they were blacker than most africans).
I don´t know, I think many times people exaggerate a lot on what is proper, and not quite, to say.
My personal complaint is that I have run into trouble twice while living in the States: First time because I said "black". Silence fell and I felt as if I had committed some horrible crime. Luckily, someone was merciful enough to understand that even if I am a bleeding briton my English is influenced by Spanish language structures and false friends (after all, it is only 28 years I live here). Second time I was listening to Clawfinger (for those who don´t know them, a hard rock band from, I believe, Sweden) and just about the time their song "Nigg*r" started, in came my roommate(dark-skinned puerto-rican) and his friends (3 huge afroamericans). And then the song went: "Nigg*r. Nigg*rNigg*rNigg*rNigg*rNigg*r
Nigg*rNigg*rNigg*rNigg*rNigg*r and on and on. This time I felt I was living my last few seconds on Earth. Luckily again, they took the time to listen to the rest of the song, which actually goes quite in the other direction, against racism. Phew again.
To keep nagging you with the nigg*r thing, I remember seeing Oprah interviewing Chris Rock. At some point he called her "Nigg*r", and when the audience began mumbling, they both explained that it was quite alright, that when an afroamerican says that to a fellow afroamerican all is perfectly fine, since they both knew that it was said without the hate put in when a white man said it.
That being one of the most racist comments I have ever heard in my life (I mean, who the hell are you to judge if I say something with hate or not? Do you know me? In Spanish we insult our most dear friends, but it means nothing because the word is given meaning by the WAY we say it), I felt so pissed off that ever since I can´t just stand all these silly discussions on politically correct terms.
Of course, not that I go often to the US, but hell, I would need a f***ing dictionary to learn again how to speak English without anybody feeling offended.

MvR

apostrophised plural's (<--- like that one). It makes me ANGRY!

'asteriks' instead if 'asterisk'

'ek-setra' instead of 'etcetera'

and people who can't take criticism of their grammar

{edit: waaahh! 200!}

The 200 club members are by far the coolest. Welcome

Baron: yeah, of course I agree that the minefield of 'acceptable language' can become a bit of a witch hunt. Media figures harangue others over the use of 'Afro-American' and then cross the street on the way home when they see 3 black kids approaching.

However, the word 'Nigg*r' is the most prominent example in history of how language can be used to dehumanise people because of their ethnic origin, and it was made full use of by, frankly, white people until very recently. Racism is still endemic in society, and 'Nigg*r' is the most potent artefact from the era of attempted white supremacy led by white British people, and is therefore unacceptable in the language of a white person. I don't think comparing the issue with that of the semantics of the word 'black' is very fair.

jcd, I stand corrected. You are absolutely right that it is not the same thing.
One is the trouble with the "black" term, and the other is the "traditional" meaning of "nigger". I still oppose the problem with blackness.
And I also make a petition for better understanding, at least on behalf of the hundreds of Spaniard students who go to the US and learn that "nigg*r" is a "no no" word the hard way. I know personally of at least 3. People here are given no clue that when they see whomever on a film saying it is only right because they are afroamericans. It is a connection between what you see and what you hear that simply does not happen. As I said, not many africans here. The fact that you don´t see white people saying it on films just does not click. For those of you in the US, remember that people judge you by what information they get, they watch Bush and the news, which does not leave them with a nice impression on the US, and then they watch movies, which, some, leave them with a nice (though wrong) impression. Lack of information is an evil thing.

MvR

And by the way, I was about to post a reply giving you hell for the 200s comment, and then I realized I also passed them.
When did that happen?
My brain just seems unable to process my own actions.

MvR

thank you, jcd. feeling very privileged

quote:

---

When did that happen?

---

about eight months faster than me, that's for sure...

(damn, just ruined the perfect symmetry of those two zeros....)

Baron: See? We are so cool our brains fail to apprehend it. Awesome.

I think you're right that understanding has to be the key issue. I was pretty racist at school around the age of 14/15... an all white, all male private school ain't a particularly healthy atmosphere. However, when girls were (finally!) allowed in at 17 everything changed. Misogynist language was suddenly a dangerous indulgence, and I also quickly became friends with a girl with an african mother, who forced me to throw all my idiotic conceptions into the incinerator. She is now a postgrad at Cambridge having got a first from there in Economics (I only mention this in pride, not some patronising 'look how bright black people are' nightmare comment. I now have more black friends than white, as I spend so much time in the gym. However, I find black homophobia and misogyny extremely troubling, concerns with inclusive language have yet to make an impact on black pop-culture it seems...

And I totally agree with your problem about the word 'black'. Personally, I see it as a positive word without negative connotation that can thus be used to celebrate black people and culture. Attempts to make society colour-blind and language-anaesthetic are not only Orwellian, but dangerously close to another form of white-supremacy through hegemony.

Too cool to be true...

As for the racial issues, yep, some times being too careful is actually the worst kind of racism. As I said not many africans in Spain, but I do know some, and they certainly prefer "negro" (black) than any of the other "nicey" terms. Here they use "de color" (something like "coloured") when they try being politically correct. This friend of mine always answers "What colour?". The "subsaharian" thingy I mentioned earlier comes from assuming that most africans will be arabic if coming from the Magreb, or North of the Sahara desert, and black when coming from South of it. Which is mostly true, actually. Nothing said about those who live IN the desert. Apparently they do not exist...

MvR

The only one that really annoys me has been mentioned by Colin.

people who consistently censor their own language. sorry guys, but why don't you just type nigger instead of nigg*r. i don't get it.
if it's to indicate your discomfort using the term, well...i guess...but you clearly indicated it in your posts anyway.