It's true. My dream can kick your dream's ass.

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You're then free to punch your aggressor's testicles

Noted.

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phantasmagoric carnivals of threatening events

Makes one glad one does not dream.

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Anyone who's ever played too much Tetris knows you can start having Tetris dreams.

As does that.

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She contends that the purpose of dreaming is "as broad as all waking thought. That's why I say dreams are really just thinking in a different biochemical state."

Hrm.

That's a good article. The text is partially cut off on the right side though.

It's interesting what it suggests, but there are so many baroque elements in dreaming that I can't beleive sensory-prep SERE drilling is the only function.

Perhaps it was at one point but it has certainly mutated since.

When you're dreaming, you're usually asleep, no?

Best time kick fella in saggysack when him sleeping.

I was camping with some friends last summer...I was taking a nap by the fire. We were camped beside a glacial fed river.

It was 11:00 am, and I was napping by the fire in a reclining chair. Two of my friends had buckets of ice water five gallons deep, and snuck up on me. The smart one, an ex-roomie of mine, got behind me. The stupid one, an associate, got in front when they both emptied their buckets onto my sleeping carcass.

I woke up holding the dumb one by the throat to the ground.

The smart one was in the river. Not quite sure how he got there.

My tendency would be to simply laugh, and pretend to go back to sleep, because a) they did it for your reaction, and b) it's easier not to sleep when you're wet and freezing you arse off.

Then, when they fall asleep, find some ants, and dump 'em on 'em. Maybe soak all their gear in water, say it must've rained (I'm assuming you were near Seattle). Or hide all the food. You're in America - claim a bear took it. Rub your knob around the rim of their cups, or their waterbottles. Brush the ol' Rear Exit with their toothbrushes.

Of course, grabbing their throat is only good if you're confident you can kick their arses.

Oh, sure, call my approach petty, call it passive-agressive. Call it weak, or what have you. I've learnt this from several years of hard-fought boarding school guerilla warfare, where the You Are Probably Gonna Get The Shit Kicked Outta You By Fifteen Guys For Fighting Back rule applies.

Hint at your vengeance for a few months afterwards.

Their isn't a man alive who wants it made public that he enjoyed your smegma with his morning java.

(A few other lessons from school are "If your blue Listerine has mysteriously become green, throw it out" and "Always buy transparent shampooo - semen sets like egg whites on contact with hot water.)