[hulks out]

[smashes office]

[weeps pathetically]

Bite something! Chew gum! Hang in there!

We're all behind you, AC. By the way, you used to smoke and engage in areobic exercise. How could you do that? A bad cough is enough to make running miserable for me; I can't imagine smoking.

When you huff and puff, then sit back and roll yourself a cigarette, you can feel it burn your lungs so much better...mmmmmmmmm...

I think if you exercise while continuing to smoke, you're better off than if you didn't. I guess you just adapt, and it also helps to be absolutely bloody-minded. Still, the best thing is just fucking not smoking, goddammit, shitfire mammajamma urrgle bleargh....

[trails off into steadily less articulate cursing]

Go AC! *Rob Schneider in The Water Boy* YOU-CAN-DO-IT!

And I'll be joining you in your pain soon enough. *lights up*

only bad news are good news

[wakes up]

[makes coffee]

[fails to have morning cigarette]

[chews off own arm]

US demands war crimes immunity

Now the good news is ... they didn't get it.

"BEATLES TROVE? The suitcase, found in an Australian flea market, cost $36. The value of its contents - Beatles memorabilia, including photographs, concert programs and unreleased recordings - is beyond calculation. Although the materials remain unauthenticated, some experts believe that the find is the long-lost archive of the Beatles' roadie and sound recordist Mal Evans, The Associated Press reported, citing an article in The Times of London. According to the newspaper, Mr. Evans was killed by the police in Los Angeles in 1976 after brandishing what turned out to be a fake gun. During the ensuing investigation, the contents of the suitcase were lost. The Times reported that Fraser Claughton, 41, of Tinkerton, England, found the suitcase in a small town outside Melbourne and bought it because he realized it was not empty. "It's like finding the end of the rainbow in Australia,'' he said. The contents included a four-and-a-half-hour reel-to-reel tape on which John Lennon and Paul McCartney experiment with alternative versions of previously unrecorded tracks, as well as previously unknown versions of "We Can Work It Out'' and "Cry Baby Cry.'' Labeled "Abbey Road not for release,'' the tapes are to be evaluated by Apple, the Beatles' label, and by experts. In 1998 an Evans notebook containing draft lyrics for "Hey Jude'' and "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band'' sold for $185,000 at an auction in London."

Orginal here.

quote:

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Originally posted by anarchocyclist:

[wakes up]

[makes coffee]

[fails to have morning cigarette]

[chews off own arm]

---

So how's that going?

I quit four years ago, and don't regret it. Bought myself a nice old watch with the money I would have been burning, and it serves as an ever-present reminder of why I shouldn't start again.

And I ran two miles before supper today. If I'd tried that in 2000, I would have puked up my guts and died before the blooorsh hit the asphalt. Maudit tabac.

i like the way you italicize folks when you quote them, Mean Old Man. shows care and effort.

Well, MOM, I quit smoking a total of three times in the month of June alone. Turned 30 last Saturday, thus reaching the deadline my (ex-smoker) dad gave me some eight years ago, so I quit again. Well, I was superlatively, excruciatingly hung over Sunday morning, and lit one out of habit, but quickly put it out (after being called "traitor" by Mrs AC, always the supportive one) and gave the pack away to a (still) drunken hanger-on from the night before.

Fun story there too. At about 1:30 AM I decide I'll hop on my bike and tow him home on his skateboard. We successfully make the turn onto 14th St, but a quarter of a mile later, I feel his hand leave the rails of my saddle, and hear an agonizing thud behind me. Skid to a halt and reluctantly turn around. He's on his back, about twenty feet behind me, staring at the black sky. He comes to after a minute and a half of my frantic slapping of his face. (Works in the movies, doesn't it?)

We walk, slowly, back to my house, where I offer him several wet towels with which to wrap his (profusely bleeding) head, a couch to sleep on, and a pillow in a pillowcase I don't really care for. He won't agree to go to the hospital for stitches, pointing out that he still owes them plenty for last time.

You see, this is a man who skates pools for fun. With no helmet. Or health insurance. Or common sense.

I stay up with him until 2:30 or so, just to make sure he doesn't seize or become demented, then go to bed. In the morning, he drinks three of the remaining beers and skates home with all the remaining cigarettes in the house.

So, MOM, what I really mean to say is: haven't had one since Sunday at about 10:00 AM. And I've been grinding my teeth ever since.

quote:

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Originally posted by anarchocyclist:

...In the morning, he drinks three of the remaining beers and skates home with all the remaining cigarettes in the house...

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...And the garbage cans had been rifled and the dog was walking like a cowboy. Damned yuppies.

quote:

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...haven't had one since Sunday at about 10:00 AM. And I've been grinding my teeth ever since.

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Teeth grow back. Lungs don't. Stick with it, mate.

quote:

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Originally posted by charmakarmacat:

<i>i like the way you italicize folks when you quote them, Mean Old Man. shows care and _effort_.</i>

---

William Gibson Board Style Manual, chapter 3, paragraph 3.

The only problem I run into is when part of the passage I'm quoting is already italicized.

quote:

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Stick with it, mate.

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I will.

[grumble]

How are you doing, AC?

todays good news: Tim Berners-Lee knighted

Another one for Striv!

<pedant>Headline's wrong - they didn't "break" a world record because there wasn't a prior one. They did make a world record though, if Guiness verify it.</pedant>

And don't tell me those html tags were unnecessary.

quote:

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Originally posted by Gromit:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200407/s1156506.htm

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Thanks!